Umm I'm too high to move.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
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