what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
