Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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