Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
