Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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