sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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