If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
