I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
