Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Holy sore nipples Batman
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
