An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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