just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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