We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
