What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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