perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
