piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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