I could make wine with my vomit
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Are we still banned from the library?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
