If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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