thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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