hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love you. Go after that dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
