we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
