My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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