It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
