i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
