Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
