In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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