Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
