Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
