So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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