well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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