I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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