You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize