i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
