you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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