I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
