after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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