Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
