Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
