I'm lost and stupid without you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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