Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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