I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
that's an acceptable place to lick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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