normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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