just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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