That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize