we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
