you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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