Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
