a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
