She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
