He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
