i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Farmville is her only friend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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