I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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