i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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