winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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