Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
