I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yo dont text me then not text me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
