Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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