ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
