The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to