omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.