But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?