he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.